Today!

Why do I blog>

I mean I'm not exactly very good at it and like with most things in my life I put a lot of pressure on myself when I fail at it.

It's not like it's a job and I need to do it to get paid or that I'll disappoint anyone only myself if I don't do a post.

It's not like I find it easy, I spend hour upon hour, page after page of A4 paper making notes and drafts of post, just like I did at school when I had to write an essay done. I get distracted very easily and I might start to write about one thing and more often or not I end up writing about something completely different or I get overwhelmed, start to babble, so then I'll take a break and when I get back to it everything I've written just doesn't seem relevant anymore and then I end up not posting anything at all.

Hence the long breaks.

This has happened on all my blogs and I've had a few.

I've had a blogging identity crisis.

If you've read or go back and read the first couple of post on this blog and lets face it I've only written five  but in reading them you will learn a little more about me and my blogging journey.

Anyway back to my first point,

WHY DO I BLOG.

Well I believe it's my therapy and boy do I need therapy. I Thought I was doing better but I'm certain I just put all my anxieties and problems aside while I was busy moving and settling into our new home and although there is still lots to do in our new home we have settled in, the children have started their new school and are very happy and life other than a few bumps which I expect under the circumstances (I'll explain more in another post or I'll start babbling) was going ok.

Bang it just kind of happened over night the anxieties are back bring with them all the problems. I'm all over the place again. So I'm blogging again and hoping it will help.

I don't expect to get lots of followers or loads of comments although that would be nice I'm doing this for me.

I'm taking a few steps back and getting back on the Simple Abundance Path.

Thanks for listening. x

Holiday!

May be this isn't the best time to be taking the children on holiday but I made a snap decision on Friday and booked a two week holiday in Bideford for us.

Bideford Long bridge.

Yes I know it's pretty irresponsible of me after all they have just had a week off and at the end of the month they will be leaving one school and starting a new one (hopefully) so isn't this enough of an interruption to their schooling.

To be honest with you after the year we have had this is just what they need, OK and what I need.

A week of the simple pleasure of doing nothing.

This time last year the children's dad and I split up.

In that year there has been many times I've asked myself if I was doing the right thing.

Was my marriage really that bad, well yes it was. 

Maybe not to the outside world but 10 years of psychological and emotional abuse can really harm a girls passion for life.

And I did have a real passion for life once and I am now getting it back.

There has also been times in this year that I thought that we may even give it another go.

Only to wake up with that awful sickness in the pit of my stomach, I've been here before nothing had change and I was just holding on to fleeting moments of happiness.

So for the first time the children had to share their Christmas holidays going back and forth between they're dad and I.

In the new year things took a turn for the worst.

It got so bad at one point that Mr Plod and his friends had to get involved.

Well this weeks holiday hasn't been a barrel of laughs either.

It use to be nice and quiet around here but lately some new families have moved in and mixed it up a bit.

So there's been lots of falling out and fighting and that's just the parents. Hee Hee.

Anyway I thought it was time for us to get away.

And although some might think that the timing isn't great I can't think of a better time.

Spring is on it's way.

 The time of year for new beginnings

and this is the start of new beginings for us.

P.S I'll worry about packing the house up when we get back after all when we need to women can get anything done if they have to. Besides I'm sure if I ask a friend or two will come on over and help. Love you Alex Hee Hee.

Hope you all have a great week.

X

Simple Pleasures

When we were in Morrisons yesterday I saw these beautful flowers and at £2 for the bunch I couldn't help but pick them up for myself. I smile everytime I walk in the  room.

Simple and (cheap) pleasures.

Gratitude unlocks the fullness of life. It turns what we have into enough, and more. It turns denial into acceptance, chaos to order, confusion to clarity. It can turn a meal into a feast, a house into a home, a stranger into a friend. Gratitude makes sense of our past, brings peace for today, and creates a vision for tomorrow.

                                                                                         Melody Beattie      

Blessing my circumstances

At last a nice day.

I've been promising the children I would take them to Wincanton to take a look around the area before we move and today was just perfect.

So we loaded the scooters into the car, filled up with petrol and off we went.

There's nothing like driving along all singing to Taylor Swift to keep you in high sprits.

Oh and the sun came out.

The first port of call was to drive up around to see the house.

Oh my this turn out to be a little unsettling it's a    

 BUILDING SITE!!!

(not actual site)

Yes I know it's a new house we're moving to and it's the first phase so I expected some building work to be going on but  none of the houses had windows and I think some even had doors still missing.

Not a good start but onwards and upwards.

I park in the local Morrisons just down the road and we go off on our walk, well I walk they scooter.

"YES", one skate park, oldest son sorted.

On we go walking along the path which a river runs by and I can here birds so not a bad stroll and

 OH look a play park, that's daughter and yougest son sorted.

We stop and play for a while ( haven't quite got back into blogging mode forgot the camera).

We carried on walking it's a one way street so I'm guessing it will take us back to the car.

Little man notice's a sign for an in door play area, he's one happy chap.

Back to the car, popped into Morrisons for milkshake and cake.

So kids all sold they are now happier to make the move.

Me on the other hand feeling a little unsettled living in that much of a building site isn't going to be much fun.

So why you ask am I blessing my circumstances.

Well we've not been home more than fifteen minutes when the post turns up.

Now I'm trying to learn to live for the present moment and that everything happens for a reason.

Among the post is a letter from the housing people to let me know I can go and view my house next Thursday and that the move date has been moved from the 10th to the 24th of March.

I thought this was going to be the latest addition in my fashion accessories.

There you go everything will be just fine, you just have to let things happen as they will.

I will now have more time to pack up, sort out all our stuff, spend more time deciding what we will and won't be taking with us. I'm sure my local charity shops will benefit from this.

The children will have more time to spend with their now school friends and I will have more time to sort out their new schools.

So although I was a little dissappionted for a few seconds and the thought of living without hot water for a couple more weeks than I thought I was going to have to and taking cold showers isn't something I'm looking forward to but I am pleased that it won't be such a rush. 

One last good point I've a little more time to save a few more penny's for those little house warming gifts I'm sure I would like to buy for myself. 

Bless a thing and it will bless you. Curse it and it will curse you. . . . If you bless a situation, it has no power to hurt you, and even if it its troublesome for a time, it will gradually fade out, if you
sincerely bless it.
                                             Emmet Fox

The Author

That's me, Joanne, full time Mum to three very energetic kiddies, but I thought you might like to know a little more about the woman behind this blog.

I live in the past, the future but not the present day.

 I live in fear, I worry about most things, am anxious, I'm not good at waiting, I can't stand back and allow things to just happen.

I am a Black and White person, no real shades of grey here, Miss extreme, if am happy I'm on top of the world, life and soul of the party. I'm not coming down of that cloud but the bad side to this is when am low, nothing is going to pull me out of that dark cave, no words, no actions, nothing, it's like I've made my mind up to live in misery and I just have to wait it out, wait for the mood to lift and inevitably it does.

 Am not a good listener but I love to talk.

I love company and love to entertain.

 Am not to keen on my own company.

 I'm very indecisive.

I tend to throw myself into new projects, new hobbies. I give my all to these, I become obsessed.

 Take knitting when I wanted to learn how to knit I went out and bought the latest in interchangeable knitting needles ( knit picks I think), enough wool to start my own wool shop, every book and magazines and if that's not bad enough I convinced my hubby that we needed a family holiday and if we went to Derbyshire I could spend the weekend at the Rowan Mills on a course learning to knit socks. To this day I have only knitted two socks and not even a pair. Why because I fear failure, I know this because I hardly ever complete projects, things are left undone and incomplete and all because I'm a perfectionist. I strive for perfection and consequently often feel disappointed with my efforts therefore I give up and try something new and it all starts over again.

I expect the worse to happen in most situations.

 I'm a grass is greener on the other side kinda girl, I put this down to envy and thinking others have it better than me. I'm a glass half empty kind of girl.

On the good side I'm a great mum, I love my children with all my heart and only ever want the best for them. I'm a great home maker, I love what I do and am truly grateful for being lucky enough to of spent the last eleven years being a full time mum. I'm a great cook and baker.
And my friend Alex tells me I'm a great friend.

Now I wasn't finding it easy to write honestly about myself so I decided to ask for help and there was only one person I knew who wouldn't think I was mad and who would be totally honest with me.

Alex my best friend, my soul sister.

 So I call on her yet again to help me out  (I am sure she's my guardian angel) and after one of our soul searching conversations this is what I came up with.

Now for the most of it I'm not too proud, it was pretty hard reading back through it but fear not I said to myself as this is the person I am at present (six months ago it was a lot worse) but I know am working towards a new, happier, joyous me.

I am in my 41st year and recently crossed over to the next part of my journey.

The Simple Abundance path.

First of all I need to learn to be grateful for the simple things in life no matter what my circumstances may be.

 I have to learn to trust in myself.

The road is already mapped out for me.

I have to let life just happen.

Well I'm not really sure who I wrote this post for! You the reader (if I have any),

or if it was just therapy for myself.



My first blog post (NOT)

Hello readers, Oh I do hope I get some readers as I am going to need all the encouragement I can get to keep this blog going. Because as the title of this post suggest this is my first for this blog but not the first I have every written. I've had a blog or two, maybe more before this one but I've had trouble keeping them up for one reason or another.

I've always had good intentions when I start a blog up and I love to blog, I love to blog about my days as a mum, friend, my family, my hobbies (which I have many of). I would try and blog daily but after some time I would miss days, then the next time I would miss a week and before I knew it a month would of pased. and I wouldn't know how to come back then.

 Consequently I would give up completely and I would stay away for a while but then I would start to miss all you charming bloggers and all your amazing photo's of your hand made goodness, your beautiful, colourful, happy homes and your stories of your daily life's.  Your wonderful blogs would begin to call to me once again and then I would have something I wanted to share with you so it would start again and a new blog would be born.

I hear you asking why will this time be any different than any of those other times. Well I can't promise you anything but without boring you with all the details (yet), I'm in a very different place now, I believe I'm the happiest I've been in years, I'd even go as far as saying I haven't felt this good in years.

So I feel like this is a good time to start once again but I also know that I'm going to be very busy over the next few weeks as I am moving house, there is going to be a lot to sort out and I'm not great at organisation so please bare with me, I'll have lots to share with you and when I get into my new house. I can't think of anyone better than you creative lot to help me make this new house a HOME!

Right I'm going to be a little cheeky and ask my good friend Alex to ask her blog friends to pop across and say hello because I really am going to need lots of support and I know that you blogging girls are all very friendly.